I have nothing...

Winston Churchill once said:

"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat."

That's kind of what I'm feeling right about now. The Bible tells us that victory is the Lord's. Though at this moment I'm feeling like victory is the furthest thing from me. Tearing at what feels like the fabric of my soul is this burning question of whether I'm doing the right thing. Everything inside me knows that I am, that I'm seeking God's desires for me whole heartedly and I know that everything I'm doing will someday bear fruit. But there are days when I stare off into the distant horizon, the "hills" as one might call them, and I see no help... I find no victory.

As I was writing my first paragraph, I thought to myself that whole "Victory is the Lord's" line. It's so simple: our own microwaved accomplishments and success. Right, right, it's not THAT easy. But any good linguist of Christianese will tell you it is...

But as I considered that it wasn't THAT simple, and the quote by Winston Churchill, I recognized that in giving everything I had away, I found myself weaponless in the battle for my well-being. I have nothing left. What does blood, toil, tears and sweat do for us? It merely shows that we've given all the tangible things we have... And maybe that's exactly the point... Maybe weapons don't win a war... Maybe in the long run, sacrifice does

"Victory is the Lord's." The Lord's... not mine. This is to say, I do not earn or achieve or win victory, but I share in it. The United States (and its allies) won World War II. I did not achieve that victory. I was not present for it. I did nothing to attribute to its being had, primarily due to the fact that I wasn't born (in fact, neither was my father). But I share in it now... Through the sacrifice of limitless men and women. Without their sacrifices in every single battle, nothing is won. We would see no victory, we would have no hope, no freedom... Here, after the battles, after the sacrifices of many, we share in the benefits of the victory we were not a part of winning. Victory is the Lord's. And in the same way that Victory came to the allies but wars and violence continued to this day, so to I share in the victory of the Lord and will continue to face struggles and pain. And each victory will be earned by the sacrifice of myself.

I fight endlessly, tirelessly and frivolously and I achieve nothing, it is only in my admitted defeat and lack of success that I gain any true ground...

Victory is the Lord's: an encouragement? Or a reminder? I think it's a little bit of both...

My weapons and attempts achieve nothing, my sacrifice wins everything.

"The angels shout...

The Demons bow...

We your children stand in awe...

The strongholds break...

Creation quakes

Singing: 'victory is the Lord's!'..."